Stethoscopes and Spies
by AriMarvelUniverse
Summary: Mikey watches waaay too many spy movies...what happens when he convinces Raph to join him on a little Recon in the kitchen? The targets? Leo and Yono. Can you say, misunderstanding? Contains my OC Kiyono...read her Bio if you do not get it!


"Alright, Case. See ya next time, bonehead."

Raphael rammed his beefy shoulder into the hidden entrance to his family's lair and turned around halfway, shooting a halfhearted wave to his friends back. Casey Jones didn't even turn- he simply threw a peace sign over his shoulder and continued on his way through the sewers. Raph rolled his amber colored irises and stomped into the lair, growling and snorting like a pissy horse. Casey was such a dumbass, hence his name- Bonehead. But he was a pretty cool friend, as far as humans went. He wasn't a square- he had that going for him. Kid knew how to have fun, at least.

Unlike some turtles, whose name we will not mention.

Raph blinked and stared around the living room. Something was…off. Really off. The place was exactly the same as when he'd left, but…it was weird. The tv was buzzing in the background, but nobody was in front of it. Donnie's room door was wide open, and there was no sound coming from the dojo. That was the most disturbing thing of all- Leo wasn't training. Something must be seriously wrong.

Raph stuck his thumbs into his belt and rolled his neck, padding into the main hallway, searching for any signs of life. Aw, shell- he hadn't been gone that long, had he? How many punks had he and Case beat up? Eh- he'd lost count after 12. But it hadn't been that long….

Maybe Fearless had taken Joanie to a movie. Unconciously, Raph's eyes narrowed slightly, and the muscles in his arms tightened. Shredder's kid. Joanie. Little Miss Crawford. Double S- Soul Sucker. Demon Chick. He could think of a million names for Leo's girl, if he really tried. Joanie wasn't her real name- it was really Kiyono. Kiyono Oruku, Shredder's baby girl. Krazy Karai's little sissy.

She hated when he brought up her roots, but the way he saw it, he was just telling the truth. How she had gone from ambushing him in the sewers to cuddling with Leo 24/7, Raph would never freaking know. What he did know was that she was a freaking time bomb- dangerous and always ready to blow. But not because of her temper- she was just as infuriatingly calm and level headed as her boyfriend. Kiyono was possessed by some kinda demons or something, hungry, ravenous, freaky demons bonded to her body and mind. In Raph's eyes, she was a full on nutcase- nightmares, freak out episodes, demonic voices, freaky marks/tattoos- the whole nine yards. When she'd first got here, he'd hated her. Hated her for existing, hated her for finding them, for making Leo love her. Even hated her for stuff that wasn't her fault. She'd been a threat, and the red banded ninja had wanted to get rid of her.

Now it was a little different. They'd been through some stuff with her. She still wasn't his favorite person, but they tolerated each other for everyone else's sake.

The silence in the lair was really starting to get on his nerves. "MIKE! DON! Ya here or what?" he bellowed. Evidence of the orange goof ball was everywhere. Crushed corn chips adorned the couch, and empty DVD cases lay on every surface. And then…there was a crash, from Donnie's lab, followed by the sharp tinkle of broken glass, and a shout of "Oh, shell!"

Raph sighed thunderously and shuffled over to the gaping lab door with an exasperated look spread across his emerald features. He kicked the door open wider and glowed into the room.

Donnie's lab was freaking TOTALED. It looked like it had been ransacked completely. Drawers were pulled out, papers had been yanked off the desk. The computer was swimming in a puddle of clear blue liquid, and broken bottles were everywhere. Michelangelo stood in the middle of the chaos, the usual dumb blonde grin on his mug. "Mike….the hell'ja do ta Don's room?!" Raph rumbled.

Mikey grinned even wider and held something out to his brother. "I needed these. Donnie wasn't here, so I thought I'd look for them myself." Raph shook his head slowly. "Look for what, shell-for-brains?" A mischievous note crept into Mikey's voice and tainted his smile. "Stethoscopes, dude. Stethoscopes." Raph stared at him for one long second, then exhaled loudly. "I know I'm gonna regret this, but why did'ja need Donnie's doctor stuff?" Mikey tilted his head to the side and started fiddling with the stethoscopes, fitting them over his head awkwardly. "Leo and Yono went into the kitchen a few minutes ago, and they've been in there a loooong time. Like, a long time. But they closed the door, and I wanna know what they're doing." He wiggled his eyeridges suggestively, blue eyes sparkling impishly. "I saw this spy dude in a movie listen to this other dude's convo through a door. And I'm gonna use these babies-" he held up the stethoscopes proudly, like some rare jewel he'd plundered, "-to find out what's going on."

Raph grimaced in disgust. "Tha's creepy and gross, Mike. Leo said it aint even like that between them. And why would'ja wanna listen in on them, anyway? They're both boring as shell." Mikey scoffed and waved his hand in front of Raph's nose imperiously. "Leo could've **_Lied. _**Duuuuh. Plus, this might be a great chance to get some blackmail going!" Raph rolled his eyes once more. "Yer a stalker, Mike. An' if Joanie catches ya, she'll tear ya limb from limb." Mikey disregarded the comment with a flick of his neck. "No she won't. Yono loves me, unlike _sooome _people." He finally fit the plugs over his ear slits, and walked out of the lab with a swagger in his step. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got some spying to do. Double-O-Mikey, reporting for duty."

Despite his better judgment screaming at him to go to his room, shut the door, and act like he hadn't seen a thing, Raph was tempted to follow his baby brother and join him in his eavesdropping. Leo could've been lying about him and Yono….and it was always a good thing to catch Splinter Junior slipping. And he was betting the look on Joanie's face would be freaking priceless_._ It was too tempting to pass up. With a malicious grin, Raph padded out of Donnie's wrecked lab. When he caught up to Mikey, he was crouched in front of the kitchen door with one hand braced against the floor.

He was pressing the end of the stethoscope flat against the wood and straining to hear any sound. When he caught sight of Raph, he grinned as evilly as he could before turning his attention back to the door. Raph flopped down next to him and kneeled painfully on his knees. "I knew you couldn't resist messin' with Leo, dude." Mikey giggled.

"Ah, shut up and hand me one a' those ear thingies."

Mikey obliged, and Raph shoved it into his ear. For a few moments, all he heard was silence. And then…

"Ouch! Owww-ahhh!"

"Stop moving, Yono. I just have to-"

"Leo, this hurts. I told you- ah!"

"If you would stop moving, maybe I could-"

"It's too deep! Just stop trying to- OW!"

"It's barely in! You're making it go deeper."

"Le-oooo…."

"Oh, Yono. It's not that bad."

"It's too big! It's not natural- Augh!"

Mikey's eyes had widened to the size of electric blue dinner plates, and he turned his head slightly to gaze into Raph's golden ones. "Dude…" Raph waved him quiet and pressed the plug deeper into his eardrum.

"Stop clenching like that! I'm not going to be able to get it out."

Kiyono gave a pained sob. "Leo…I don't want to do this anymore. It really hurts."

"This isn't all that easy for me, either…."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have this huge thing jammed in your- OWWW!"

Raph couldn't take it anymore. He ripped the stethoscope out of his ear and stood up abruptly. Mikey grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back, but Raph shook him off and barged into the kitchen triumphantly. "Leo, ya are so fulla shi-"

Leo was leaning against the kitchen counter, holding Kiyono's left hand in his own. His right hand hovered over it, clutching…_a pair of freaking tweezers._ Kiyono's usually pale face was beet red and scrunched up in pain, turned away from their conjoined hands. When Raph stormed in, she turned sharply to face him, the bemusement on her face matching the confused look on Leo's. "Raph, what in the shell are you talking about?" the blue leader queried. Mikey peeked into the room cautiously, and flashed Kiyono an innocent smile. "Hi, Yono. How's life?"

Raph gaped openly at his brother, feeling like a total re-re. "I thought…Mike said, that ya was…we thought…" Kiyono pinned him to the wall with her obsidian gaze. "You thought what? That I had a splinter? Get your head out of the gutter, Raphie. Leo was helping me- AIIIE!" She screeched in pain and yanked her hand away from Leo, who had decided to plunge the tweezers into her palm while she was distracted. He held up the silver instrument smugly. A thick black chunk of wood was gripped in between the spikes. "See? It wasn't that bad at all." Kiyono growled at him and cradled her hand to her chest, but didn't pull away when he plopped a placating kiss on her nose.

Raph cursed inwardly and glowered at the floor. Damn…he had let Mikey convince him to snoop, and it had all been for nothing. "Okay, so well, glad you're feeling better, dudette." He began easing out of the room slowly. "We're just gonna…"

"Oh yeah, Mr. Sneak-a-peek?" Kiyono snarled dangerously. Tendrils of darkness had begun to swim across her sclera, like motor oil on water. Raph swallowed and backed away the livid girl as the temperature in the room dropped. Leo chuckled evilly and crossed his arms over his plastron. "Hey, Mike?" Mikey gulped and looked at him hopefully. "Yeah?"

"Run. Fast."

Mikey squeaked in fear and bolted from the room, with an angry Kiyono hot (or cold?) on his heels. "Raphieee! Help meeee…." Raph groaned aloud and sprinted after his brother, leaving Leonardo in stitches.


End file.
